Our Little Buddy
You were born on March 26, 2015, and if we had waited much longer you would have been born in the car on the way. Your mother told me, “We need to get to the hospital, now!” and I’m lucky I listened to her. (of course, I always listen to her). You were in such a hurry to join our family we had to skip the check in at the hospital and you were born in only two hours time.
Despite wanting to find out quite badly we did not know your sex ahead of time, “Very few true surprises in life,” I kept telling your mother. Everything happened so fast, I had nearly forgotten that we didn’t know, and then just like that – there you were.
I would of course have been happy with a boy or girl. Us men all say that of course, but I think we all know that deep down we are always secretly pulling for a boy. So, you can imagine my excitement when the doctor presented you to us for the first time. I looked into your mother’s eyes and we both smiled and shed some tears. God had blessed us with a happy healthy baby boy. Ten very long fingers and ten very long toes. So perfect. So beautiful. I’m so incredibly amazed how a person can fall in love so fast.
And as it always does, time went so fast. It really feels like just last week we were bringing you home for the first time. At home waiting for you was your big sister Emily who was full of hugs and kisses for you. As soon as you learned you could smile it seemed like your favorite thing to do, the only thing better was your laughs and giggles.
As you got bigger you soon learned to walk, and before we knew it, that walk quickly turned into a run – to the point it was a struggle keeping up with you. Outside was where you were happiest, or better yet outside sitting in daddy’s pickup. And nothing tortured you more than watching me till the ground in front of the house or mow the lawn. Standing there by the window watching each pass with envious eyes. You were Mommy’s boy, but you were Daddy’s little man.
Life really is about the little things, going down and getting you up in the morning was one of my favorites. You would always be so happy waiting there with a smile, so excited to be picked up. I can only imagine what you were thinking, “It’s about time you got up, we’ve got stuff to do.”
It was also hard to beat the way you would hug and cuddle in so tight, so full of love. Then in an instant Friday morning, September 2, 2016 our lives were completely changed forever. As quickly as you came into our world you were gone. And so here we sit, still left with so many unanswered questions, the biggest being, “why?”
Why on two different levels. There is the, “what caused this” why, and the bigger overall, “Why does this happen” why. I know an answer to either question will not bring you back, nevertheless, we are still filled with so much pain, so much confusion, so much frustration. I do know that God has a plan and that this is somehow part of that plan. We know that having faith, is in turn, trusting in God, even when it seems like a devastating mistake in our eyes. Even with the constant pain and numbness we are now feeling, we are also so thankful for the unbelievable amount of happiness you brought us and everyone around you in the short amount of time you were here. The memories that were made will last forever and your beautiful smile will not be forgotten.
If Heaven is what I think it is, I know that right now Great Grandpa Kenny and Great Grandpa Lyle are up in Heaven fighting for their turn to give you another tractor ride.