20 Jun Finding Light in the Darkness: Supporting Bereaved Parents
The loss of a child is an unimaginable tragedy that no parent should ever have to endure. For families affected by Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood (SUDC), the grief can feel overwhelming and never-ending. This Bereaved Parents Awareness Month, we want to shed light on the journey of bereaved parents and provide guidance on how they can support themselves, as well as how others can support them during this darkest of times. The insights shared below come directly from SUDC parents who provided their perspectives to help others on this difficult path.
The Grief Journey: One Day at a Time
As bereaved parents have shared, grief is a winding road with no shortcuts. “It’s okay not to be okay,” says Kristen. The pain and emptiness may feel all-consuming, but as Becki reminds us, “The sheer pain and just emptiness will ease over time. It may not feel that way now, but it will, I promise you.”
The key is to take it one day at a time, as Casandra advises: “One day at a time.” Allow yourself to feel the full range of emotions without judgment. As Jayme beautifully expressed, “Blessed are we who mourn, saying let us remain in grief’s cold winter for as long as it takes, that mourning might be to our hearts the gentlest springtime. Let the thaw come slowly, so we can bear the pain of it and find comfort in each release.”
Self-Care for Bereaved Parents
Amid the overwhelming grief, it’s crucial for bereaved parents to practice self-care. This may look different for everyone, but some suggestions include:
Giving yourself permission to feel and express your emotions freely, without apology.
Seeking support from a counselor, therapist, or support group who can provide a safe space to process your grief.
Engaging in activities that bring you comfort or joy, even if fleeting.
Practicing mindfulness, meditation, or other relaxation techniques to find moments of peace.
Leaning on your faith or spiritual beliefs, if applicable, as Jose shared: “Jesus has been my pillar to go forward.”
Supporting Bereaved Parents
For friends, family, and communities, supporting bereaved parents is an act of profound compassion. As Melody wisely stated, “Love me through it. Don’t push me through it.” Here are some ways you can offer support:
Simply being present and listening without trying to “fix” their grief, as Kristen highlighted.
Acknowledging important dates like anniversaries and birthdays, as Becki suggested. A simple “I hope today is what you need it to be” can mean the world, as Jayme experienced.
Offering practical help with meals, household chores, or childcare for other children.
Respecting their grief process and not pressuring them to “move on” before they’re ready, as Nancy advised.
The path of bereaved parents is undoubtedly one of the most difficult journeys one can face. But you do not have to walk it alone. We are a community united in love – love for the precious children gone too soon, and love for one another as we navigate this grief together.
While the pain may never fully heal, we can find strength, solace and even joy in sharing our children’s stories, honoring their memories, and supporting one another through the darkest valleys. Each bereaved parent’s journey is unique, but by being present, listening without judgment, and allowing the healing process to unfold organically, we can create a nurturing space for hope to bloom again.
The SUDC Foundation stands with bereaved parents, offering resources, support and a community that understands the depths of your sorrow. We see you; we hear you; and we are here to light the way, one day at a time. You are not alone.