The back-to-school season can bring a mix of emotions for families grieving the sudden loss of a child. For many, this time of year highlights routines that have changed, milestones that won’t be reached, and the absence of a beloved sibling or child.

Whether it’s your first school year after loss or one of many, it’s okay to approach this time of year differently. Below are a few tips to help care for yourself as a parent, and to support surviving siblings as they re-enter the school environment. There is no perfect roadmap, just do what feels right for you and your family.

Preparing Yourself

Acknowledge Triggers

Back-to-school reminders like photos, shopping, seeing children your child’s age can bring up intense emotions. It’s okay to feel tender or even avoidant. Be gentle with yourself.

You Can Do Less

If certain traditions or tasks feel too hard, it’s okay to skip or simplify them this year. Focus on what feels emotionally sustainable.

Let the School Know

Briefly inform your child’s teacher, counselor, and school nurse about your family’s loss. This allows them to support your child if grief shows up during the day.

Anticipate Emotional Landmarks

Special days like your child’s birthday, sibling projects, or family tree assignments may be unexpectedly painful. A little preparation ahead of time can soften the impact.

Practice Self-Compassion

There is no right way to feel this time of year. You might feel deeply emotional, numb, angry, or even moments of joy or hope. All of that is okay. Give yourself permission to feel what comes, to grieve, to breathe, and to be gentle with your heart.

Preparing Siblings

Talk About What to Expect

Check in with your child about how they’re feeling. Let them know it’s okay to feel excited, sad, nervous, or a mix of everything.

Ask How They Want Their Sibling Shared

Some children want teachers or friends to know about their sibling. Others don’t. Ask what they want and help the school follow that lead.

Offer a Comfort Strategy

A note in their backpack, a small memento, or a plan to take breaks when needed can help them feel supported during the day.

Coordinate with a Trusted Adult at School

Work with the school to identify a safe person (teacher, counselor, aide) they can go to if they’re overwhelmed or need to step away.

Normalize Their Emotions

Reassure them that it’s okay to feel joy and grief at the same time. There is no wrong way to miss their sibling.