For Grandparents
It is Said that Grandparents Suffer a "Double Grief"
- their own grief of their grandchild's death and the grief they face at watching their own child grieve.
Please contact us today and let us help. Our community of over 2000+ families worldwide is ready to support you in any way we can.
Tips from First Candle/SIDs Alliance:
on handling difficult family dynamics and your grief. Grandparents often feel they need to have all the answers, know how to cope best, control the situation and be an example.
Sometimes, the parent(s) have rejected the advice, offers of support, financial assistance, babysitting, and whatever help they can think of. This can lead to feelings of guilt and anger – however, grief is a highly individualized process. What may be helpful to the grandparent may not work for the parent. If there has been any family conflict between the parent and grandparent, or extended family, in-laws, etc., it can create further barriers throughout the grief process.
Regardless of the particular dynamics in a family, what we do know is that boundaries are important.
Do this:
- Express your genuine concern and caring.
- Be available if you can for your children/the parents.
- Allow them to express themselves, and be able to sit with their emotions to be there for them.
- Remember your grandchild’s anniversary and birthday with the parents.
- Give special attention to your grandchild’s brothers and/or sisters. They will need your love and support too.
Don’t do this:
- Let your feelings of helplessness prevent you from reaching out.
- Say you know how they feel unless you have also lost a child yourself.
- Say “you should be better by now” – grief has its own timetable and everyone is different.
- Change the subject when they talk about their child.
- Avoid mentioning your grandchild out of fear.
- Make any comments that suggest that the care given their child at home, in the emergency department, etc. was inadequate.
Families registered with the SUDC Foundation can access more information on grandparent grief in the private access area for registered families section of our website.
The loss of a grandchild is a profound and unique grief, one that many grandparents experience while navigating their role as a pillar of support for their families. Grandparents experiencing a loss due to Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood (SUDC) often face what is known as “double grief”: mourning the devastating loss of their grandchild while witnessing the deep sorrow and pain of their own child. This layered grief can feel overwhelming, as grandparents grieve not only for their grandchild’s life but also for the life their child once knew.
At the SUDC Foundation, we understand the complexity of this grief and are here to offer compassionate support, meaningful resources, and a community where grandparents can find connection and healing. Through our tailored programs, grandparents can navigate their journey of loss while discovering ways to care for themselves and their families.
Support for Grandparents
The Compassionate Friends – Grandparents’ Grief: Offers insights into the unique grief experienced by grandparents and provides supportive articles and resources. See more here.
Missing Pieces – Grandparents: Addresses the complexities of a grandparent’s grief, acknowledging the dual loss of a grandchild and the impact on one’s own child. See more here.
Healing Together – Grandparent Resources: Provides articles, peer companion programs, and grief packets specifically designed for grandparents coping with loss. See more here.
A Grandparent’s Grief: A dedicated platform offering personal stories, resources, and support for grandparents navigating the loss of a grandchild. See more here.
Pregnancy Loss – Help for Grieving Grandparents: Focuses on the grief of grandparents following pregnancy and infant loss, offering support group information and coping strategies. See more here.
GriefHaven – Helping a Grieving Grandparent: Provides guidance on supporting grieving grandparents, including articles and resources to understand and process their unique grief. See more here.
Helpful Blogs
Honoring Grandparents on Grandparents Day
This blog celebrates the special role of grandparents and recognizes the unique grief they endure after losing a grandchild. It shares insights into how families can honor and support grandparents during their grief journey.
Our Sunshine on a Cloudy Day: A Grandparent’s Grief
A heartfelt reflection on the profound grief of a grandparent. This story explores the dual pain of losing a grandchild and supporting a grieving child, offering valuable perspectives for families.
Fundraiser Host Spotlight: Meet Grandparent Jean Sibley
This feature highlights the inspiring efforts of Jean Sibley, a grandparent who turned her grief into action by hosting fundraisers to support the SUDC Foundation and raise awareness.
Finding Light in the Darkness: Supporting Bereaved Parents
This blog emphasizes the importance of understanding and compassion when supporting parents after the sudden and unexplained loss of a child, offering actionable advice for family members, including grandparents.
Supporting Grieving Parents Through the Holiday Season
The holidays can be a particularly challenging time for grieving families. This blog provides practical tips and compassionate advice for supporting bereaved parents and grandparents during this emotional season.
Our Little Miss Personality
A touching tribute to a child lost to SUDC, celebrating her vibrant personality and the love she brought to her family. This story resonates with families experiencing similar losses.
Ronnie Was the Joy in Our Lives
A heartfelt story about Ronnie, a child who brought immense joy to his family. The blog shares how his family is honoring his legacy while navigating their grief journey.
Understanding Ring Theory: A Guide to Compassionate Support in Traumatic Child Loss
This blog introduces Ring Theory, a framework for providing compassionate support to families grieving the loss of a child. It explains the concept of “Comfort In, Dump Out,” helping individuals navigate the emotional complexities of traumatic loss while ensuring support flows inward toward those most affected.
Legacy Giving
Legacy Giving: Leave a Lasting Impact
By including the SUDC Foundation in your estate plans, you can create a lasting legacy that ensures families affected by SUDC continue to receive compassionate, no-cost services. Planned giving options, such as bequests, IRA beneficiary designations, charitable trusts, and more, offer meaningful ways to support the programs closest to your heart while aligning with your financial goals.
To learn more about legacy giving or to join the SUDC Foundation Legacy Circle, contact Elizabeth Milliken, our Director of Development.
Support Services Offered by the SUDC Foundation
Join the SUDC Network: Stay connected with our larger community to receive updates, access resources, and build connections with other families navigating grief. Contact us at [email protected].
SUDC Facebook Family Support Group: Join our private Facebook group, a supportive space for sharing experiences, exchanging advice, and finding solace with others who understand. Contact us at [email protected] to join.
Zoom Support Meetings and Events: Participate in virtual support meetings, including the Grandparent Support Hour, tailored specifically to address the unique challenges grandparents face. Contact [email protected] for details.
Request a Peer Connection Volunteer: Connect with a trained volunteer who has experienced a similar loss and understands the grief of a grandparent. These one-on-one connections provide comfort and support. Learn more here.
Learn About Our Ambassador Program: Advocate for SUDC awareness and support by becoming an ambassador. Share your story, help spread awareness, and make a difference in your community. Explore more here.
Events to Memorialize Your Grandchild: Collaborate with the SUDC Foundation to plan meaningful memorial events to honor your grandchild. These events foster connection, healing, and community support. Contact [email protected] to learn more.
SUDC Cares Program: Receive personalized support through our SUDC Cares Complimentary Grief Support and Coaching Program, led by a Licensed Social Worker (LSW). This program offers compassionate coaching tailored to grandparents coping with the profound impact of sudden and unexplained loss. Learn more here.